I recently read a quote that caught my attention:
“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
Scripture compares the tongue to fire of which a small spark can set ablaze an entire forest. We have all spoken words that we wish we could pull back into our mouths. It reminds me of the Harry Potter character, Hagrid, who is known for blurting out too much information and afterward realizing, “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Do you ever feel that way in your marriage?
I shouldn’t have said that . . . to my spouse.
I shouldn’t have said that . . . about my spouse.
I shouldn’t have said that . . . with so much negativity.
The things people say (or don’t say) have the power to determine the life or death of their marriage. Healthy couples are those that practice the following in the area of communication:
They share their feelings with one another
They listen to one another in a way that demonstrates understanding and care
They ask for what they want
They do not refuse to discuss difficult issues
They do not make comments that put one another down
When we communicate in these ways, it brings life to our marriage. One characteristic of a happy couple is feeling satisfied with their communication and conflict resolution. When couples fail to communicate well, their relationship suffers and is much more susceptible to break-up or divorce. Often, the biggest challenge is keeping the tongue in check, and simply being a good listener. It really does not take much to derail a conversation and turn it from a productive life-giving experience into something negative or damaging.
Listen twice as much as you speak. When you speak, share life-giving words. This way, you'll greatly lessen the amount of times you think, "I shouldn't have said that."
