the husband as 'spiritual leader'

Genesis 2:7-17; 3:1-6

Who was the first person to sin? Many people say Eve because she was the person whom the serpent deceived and the first person to eat of the forbidden fruit (Gen 3:6). Those same people say the original sin occurred because of Eve’s weakness, namely, that she was gullible and thus succumbed to the trickery of the serpent. The basis of the argument is women are easily persuaded and, as a result, many in church history and still today believe women are not able to hold leadership positions.

Here is a basic problem with that argument. If one assumes the woman (Eve) did seduce the man (Adam), the assumption presupposes she exerted power over him, thus making him to be weaker than she. It further affirms that gullibility is not a quality possessed by women alone. That is to say, men and women are equal in their gullibility and proneness to deception. Therefore, the argument that women are not “qualified” to be leaders, based on their gullibility does not stand.

Here is a second point that people often miss. The prohibition, “…you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…” was articulated to Adam (Gen 2:17). Eve had not even been created at this point. Hence, Adam was the one responsible to inform Eve of God’s command. Now, it is apparent Adam did pass the information along to Eve because she responds to the serpent saying, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die’” (Genesis 3:2, 3). Eve added emphasis to God’s original command saying you must not touch it, a phrase God did not say to Adam. Thus, it is apparent Eve has pondered God’s command for at least some time. Why is this important? Adam apparently did not ponder this command with his wife. Had he done so, perhaps the outcome would have been much different.

The serpent, cunning as it is, informs Eve she is mistaken and will not die. Rather, the serpent explains to her, she will be like God. We must pause at this point and step out of our Western eyes that would jump to the assumption that Eve was tempted to be prideful. That is, we cannot assume Eve understood to be “like God” as a way to be as powerful, sovereign, and glorious as God. Perhaps Eve innocently wanted to be like her creator, just like us Christians want to be like Christ.

Now, here comes the million-dollar question. This is the question those who presume women are at fault in this narrative do not take into consideration. Namely, where is Adam (the husband) in all of this? The narrator tells us in verse 6 the man was with her. Adam was with Eve during her entire dialogue with the serpent. He was not off by himself and then fell innocently and unknowingly to the deceit of his wife. No, he was with Eve the whole time and kept silent. Moreover, by allowing Eve to eat the fruit and then taking some for himself, Adam depicts he is incapable of standing by his own choice, he is disobedient to God’s command, and he is a failure as a leader.
What, then, does it mean to be the “Spiritual Leader of the Household?” Three points come to mind. First, one must be strongly and securely connected to God. The Gospel of John teaches that Christ’s followers are to be connected to the True Vine, Jesus Christ (cf. John 15). One who is connected to God, immersed in the Word, and attentive to the Holy Spirit will be filled with discernment and wisdom to make choices that reflect the Kingdom, bring glory to God, and produce good fruit.

Second, a man is responsible to take the instructions of the LORD and set them as the foundation for his household. Moses instructs the Israelites to write down the commands of the LORD on the doorframes of their houses and their gates (Deut 6:9). Upon entering the Promised Land, Joshua states, “But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD” (Josh 24:15). In essence, the spiritual leader is responsible for ensuring their household is a piece of land in the Kingdom of God and the entirety of the household lives obediently to the LORD.

Finally, a husband has the duty to live like a leader. This entails protecting his wife, children, and guests from getting involved in agreements, decisions, or contracts that will lead them to grief. Furthermore, he does not remain silent and allow his wife or children to make decisions that contradict God’s commandments. Rather, he stands against that which contradicts the LORD and leads his family in such a way.

Does this mean the husband is always in charge and the wife is the subordinate? By no means! Listen to Paul’s words, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). A husband and a wife are in partnership just as Christ and the Church. The wife needs to be connected to the Holy Spirit as well and is responsible to be obedient to God and attentive to the Spirit. Therefore, God may speak through either the husband or the wife, but both should be of one mind and one accord in confirmation because they both are listening to one Spirit, that is, the Spirit of God.

The moral of this story: Husbands, you are spiritual leaders in that you are expected to live a life led by the Lord. Be Connected to Jesus Christ, Be Attentive to the Holy Spirit, and Live Obediently to God. Husbands, fall on your knees in humility! This is the way we worship the Lord. This is how the Spirit leads us. By this we lead through God’s strength. We can only lead well if we are led well. Just as Christ loves his church, husbands love your wives.

Wives “submit” in the sense of support and encourage your husband in his spiritual leadership. This includes being attentive to the Holy Spirit, connected to Jesus Christ, and living obediently to the Word as well. In this way, wives, you are able to support your husband by confirmation of the Spirit, not by blindly following along. Wives pray and assist in making sure your household is on a trajectory towards fullness in Jesus Christ. If your husband is called the “spiritual leader,” you are called the “spiritual intercessor.”